O life, you seem to turn your back to me Devoid of hope, where can I go? Without divine judgement and intervention No one can live, no one can hope
It is to You, my Lord that I turn now I proved myself more than once Once You've tested humanity's faith But now, I'll test Your strength
O pain, so real so everlasting You break my heart and crush my soul I see no way out of this but I chose to live and suffer thee
That's why my Lord, in Your eyes I'll commit One by one the seven gravest sins Until Your righteous punishment shall rid me Of every doubt about Your existence
You can't escape the pain Of life's suffering But how sweet it becomes when It has a meaning
This meaning I found In wrath, sin and grief How strong is my hate! It makes me feel alive
2. Gluttony
I'm hungry for life For pleasures to come, years to fly Still more and more and more I'm thirsty for loneliness The key to my happiness When I dive into my own world I'm the whole universe
The solitary life I adore It boasts my confidence Laying at the shores of solitude I'm the world itself
But if I'm the world And the world is God Where shall I find my creator? If He made me so hungry for power over the world Then who shall teach me to be humble?
3. Envy
I envy Thee my Lord So many times I envisage myself Sitting on your celestial throne Looking at the world Through eyes of contempt and hate
Laughing at human insignificance Erasing their lives with a single thought
Let them destroy each other Cut each other to pieces Let them transform themselves into demons And project their wickedness to Satan My Lord, I envy Your apathy
4. Lust
How I long for the tender flesh Of the Virgin For the subdued look in her eyes When she starts to suspect that I'm the angel Who is going to embrace her
I'm Jesus' father And therefore God Ignored by history But not by fate
5. First Prayer
Ancient goddess, deity of forgiveness Please, hear my prayer Allow me to cleanse my sins In the pure waters of your sacred river
A death in each second A slow death in every moment
Everlasting mother! O mighty shapestress of my soul Save my restless spirit From eternal damnation
My eyes I cannot close I might die in my sleep My god, I cannot feel... This emptiness inside My cruel conscience is killing me
6. Pride
I'm proud of myself. Honestly, I don't need anyone to tell me what to do I have eyes to see the beauty of the world Ears to listen to the music of the spheres Hands to greedily grab what I want Feet to take me to my self imposed destiny
O my Lord, please tell me Why then do I need You To comfort me, to caress me, to care for me To tell me what to do In this immense, confusing world?
7. Greed
To greedily reach out my hands To touch the bare skin of this world To thoughtlessly consume its tender flesh To violate its insides without mercy
To greedily breathe the fresh air To allow it in my hungry lungs And spit it out transformed into poison To infect the world with my pathetic existence That's my only reason of being
8. Sloth
I risked my soul's redemption For I'm dying to know Whether annihilation awaits my soul Or into hell's fire I'll be thrown
For I prefer to die knowing Whether my life makes sense Rather than live in piety Hoping that this will save me from hell
Instead of those doubts inside I'd rather succumb to Your wrath Instead of this mental torment I'd rather have Your judgement
The bitter taste of conscious guilt Has rendered my heart ice-cold As apathy takes over now I wish You could tell me, my Lord
Why don't You answer my prayers Why are you so silent and cold? Did someone kill You as they say Or did You ignore my call?
Damned and doomed, Trapped in your intricate path Unable to move towards the light And find the truth before I die
Once You were my shepherd Now tell me what could possibly Cure me from this lethargy? Be the guide to my last fall, Be the witness of my defeat
Be there with me, a silent one Your Word do not need, Only Your presence
As I'm laying here peacefully And a cold breeze sweeps my face I can finally feel the secret of my existence And the wind drops suddenly, And the gates show me the only way Now everything is in place for the ultimate sin...
9. Wrath
Devoid of all happiness Condemned to eternal solitude Not worthy to deserve My Almighty Father's love
I was born with a sinner's heart Although to Your laws, I did obey My mind and body only throve When I was immersed in sin
Rejected by my only Lord Dishevelled by loneliness Alone and aimless I moan Outside Eden's gates
Suddenly from the shadows I'll emerge I'll sink my rusted knife in His cold heart The bastard God Who gave me life Shall die now from my hands
On Your grace I kneel my Father, And I ask you for forgiveness Forgive me that I never could Become what You wanted me to be All my life I strove to be one of Your very dearest children Until I realized that Your endless love Was not enough to include me
10. Metanoia
How could I ever have imagined that I would find it that hard to survive In this cold and meaningless Universe God's death left an immense void in my soul I can't feel any more... My eyes pregnant with darkness Giving birth to a demon each single second Broken and wingless I am A man without destiny
I never meant to be ungrateful! Isn't there any redemption for this sinful soul? Someone please come and take me by the hand I need some warmth...